I am SUCH a Bad Songwriter.

My Friend Jenny and I agreed to write and perform a song in church. This is a great idea in principle--both of us are creative, musical English majors--but there turn out to be two catches. Firstly, I have never written a song in my life, and I turn out to be bad at it. Secondly, Jenny is a folk song in Bminor played on a 12-string guitar, whereas I am trance music written in diminished fifths and played on a Hammond B3 Organ. I am Crack Cocaine; Jenny is Quaaludes. Our writing process turned into a battle between disjunct, soaring vocals (I) and legatissimo Mary Chapin Carpenter guitar (she). At least the finished product will make the congregation smile contendedly, even though I wanted them to get the holy ghost and roll around in their pews. Here are the lyrics; please believe that they work better sung than written:

(verse 1)
I've never been one of the pretty people, and I used to wonder why.
Their lives worked and mine just didn't no matter how hard I'd try.
I'd try so hard to live life better, and always end up worse--
Alone, without a purpose in the uuuuuuuuniverse.

(chorus)
I used to think that I was broken;
I used to think I was sick, bad and wrong.
I'd pray at night for God to fix me,
to make me healthy whole and strong.
So bless you for knowing, God above,
I didn't need fixed. all I needed was loooooove.

(verse 2)
I'd beat myself up and try to suffer for all my awful sins.
But all I'd get for my devotion were black and blue marks on my shins.
Till finally I gave up trying; I ceased to even care.
And that turned out to be the answer to my praaaaayer.

Cheesy, I know, but effective. And I love that our song has semicolons. Although I can't write songs, I write a hell of an essay.