Regaining My Creative Power

It has been a source of great frustration to me that, in the months following my accident I have thought of nothing worth recording in this blog. It has now been over four months since my accident, and during that period I have run a diverse gamut of human expeience. I have been near death, I have been bedridden, I have wrestled with a permanent loss of mobility, and most recently I have gone through the amputation of my left leg. One would think that I might have something to say about all of this, especially considering my natural prolixity, but it has simply not been the case. I attribute the absence of my usual communicative ability and insight in part to the heavy medication I have been under, but such is not enough to account for the near total dissapearance of my creative half, including but not limited to the ability to compose poetry. It has been a confusing and disheartening experience. After all, the loss of my leg is one thing, but my leg is not central to who I am. My mind and way of thinking seem to have been stunted, and that is far more disturbing than any physical injury.

Today, however, I came to a realization with the help of Ralph Waldo Emerson. He writes in the essay "The American Scholar" that "Thinking is a partial act." He iterates three components of an authentic scholarly existence: Nature, Books and Action. Nature I have had in abundance; I have become intimate with my humanity in a very profound way. Likewise have I been consuming books at my usual rate (see my other blog for details). The missing ingredient, according to Emerson's recipe, has been Action. "The mind now thinks, now acts," he writes, "and each fit reproduces the other." To live without action is to deprive to mind of the raw material from which alone great thought can issue.

I am grateful, therefore, that my recovery is progressing to the point where I can rejoin the working world. Although I haven't yet recieved a prosthetic leg, I am fairly mobile on my crutches and began to drive again this very week. I can but hope (and, looking back on this post to find it rather readable I am reassured) that as I fill my days with action, potable thought will follow. Rest assured, gentle reader, that if follow it does, you will be able to share it with me.